Haroon Mogul

She had cancer for years, but it wasn’t until that evening that I missed something in her voice  — life. A few times during our conversation, I asked her how she was faring, but she was anxious instead over my health. She’d called my doctor asking him to write a prescription for me and send it to the closest pharmacy. I cut her short. It was her health, not mine, that was of concern. And for once she agreed. She said she was in need of rest, and, for fear of waking her, I did not call again that evening.
The week before, I’d traveled to the hospital to keep her company, but had come down with a terrible cold. My mother had a very weak immune system, and my fever threatened her condition. So I spent that weekend recuperating in New York.

1. It was only on Tuesday morning that I felt rested, even ready to go. But I didn’t. I skipped class. I imagine I’ll praise God every day of my life for that decision. In class, my cell phone usually has no reception. Had I gone to class, there would have been no way for my brother to have reached me and tell me to hurry to the hospital.

She held on just long enough for us to congregate and then, despite the best efforts of the doctors, her condition suddenly deteriorated. She could’ve been asleep, except that her chest was not moving, and believe me, you haven’t felt fear until you’ve seen a loved one lying unmoving before you. She was the same except she was gone, eyes closed and mouth upturned in a smile. Hers was a peaceful journey, from here back to there, where you and I have not yet been given permission to return. To the words of God her heart rate fell and fell and fell.