Earlier this year there was a National Declaration by Religious and Spiritual Leaders to Address Violence Against Women, which has been signed by more than 2,000 clergy and religious leaders from Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and Baha’i traditions, among others.  The declaration stated:

We proclaim with one voice as national spiritual and religious leaders that violence against women exists in all communities, including our own, and is morally, spiritually and universally intolerable.

We acknowledge that our sacred texts, traditions and values have too often been misused to perpetuate and condone abuse.

We commit ourselves to working toward the day when all women will be safe and abuse will be no more.

We draw upon our healing texts and practices to help make our families and societies whole.

Our religious and spiritual traditions compel us to work for justice and the eradication of violence against women.

We call upon people of all religious and spiritual traditions to join us.

To date there are 2,264 individuals of all religious backgrounds who have signed on to this document.  When people of faith join with other community leaders to address domestic violence, we will see ancient roadblocks turn into resources that save lives and bring healing. Please join other people of faith in signing the Declaration. 

Perhaps if enough of us think about this issue and the issue of domestic or family violence in general we may be able to do something to stop this terrible epidemic.

Just this week, Aqsa Parvez was murdered by her father for not wearing hijab.  A young life cut short senselessly.  Although this certainly is a case of domestic violence, some are referring to this as an example of an “honor” killing.  The facts are not in yet as to whether or not this is the case.  And, as will all forms of domestic abuse, domestic violence and family violence, “honor” killings are not only a Muslim problem, and there is no “honor” involved.  Muslim sites have been responding in shock to this case (e.g. Achelois, Muslim Matters) and many others.

It takes minimal research to find hundreds and even thousands of cases of conflict, abuse, family violence, and even murder between parents and teens in families that have been here for generations, who may or may not profess any particular religion, and who share common cultural values.  Even though some of these acts are carried out by members of religious communities and sometimes the violence is “justified” in religious terms or religion is claimed as the reason for the actions – the fact is that anyone making such a claim terribly misunderstands whatever religion they are claiming in defense of the indefensible.

In a study of more than 8,000 homicides in large urban counties, the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) said 16 percent involved murder inside the family, in four out of ten of them a spouse killed a spouse.  Offspring were killed by their parents at twice the rate that offspring killed their parents.  The study further noted that 20.9% of family murders were of parents killing their children.

Muslims have discussed this topic as much as everyone else (e.g. Islam the Modern Religion, and leading Muslim groups such as the Canadian Council on American-Islamic Relations, the Islamic Social Services Association and the Islamic Society of Toronto are all urging “zero tolerance” for domestic abuse and violence against women. The Muslim Women’s League published a position paper on honor killings.  Jewish, Muslim, Christian writers have produced a handbook to give religious leaders tools to help victims of violence. 

And yet, the violence continues - somehow we are not getting through to the population in general.  We are not being good shepherds.

It has been noted that: Religious teachings or scripture are sometimes misinterpreted, distorted, and misused to suggest that domestic violence is acceptable or even God’s will among Jews, Christians, and Muslims. Although, some who are quick to see the mote in their brothers eye have categorized this crime as a Muslim crime, a symptom of what’s wrong with Muslims, or as “proof” that somehow the religion of Islam is to blame. 

This is not a Muslim problem because it crosses all religious lines, but it is a Muslim problem because it also exists in our community.  As the late Shareefa Alkhateeb pointed out: “An authoritarian family structure predisposes many Muslims in America to be abused in some way and possibly to become the victims of violence. Generally, the greater a husband’s dominance in the family structure, the more likely wife and child abuse become. In the most abusive homes, the father believes and socializes his wife and children to believe that whatever he wants the family to do is the same as what Allah wants them to do. He, in effect, makes himself into something of a god.”

The rate of domestic abuse in the Muslim community is about the same as in the general population — about 18 percent, according to a 2000 study performed by Oakland University in Rochester, Mich., a rate comparable to the national average. It tends, however, to be more hidden, says Dorria Fahmy, WAFA’s founder and executive director. 

The Prophet Muhummad said: “Every one of you (people) is a shepherd. And every one is responsible for whatever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own family, and he is responsible for them.”